


Dont Save Me

by Dylanobrienisbatman



Series: The 100 Season 5 [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: 4x13 spoilers, Becho is so small you might miss it, Canon Compliant, F/M, Post Finale, a little smut, but its all pretty tame, but maybe come back after you have idk, enjoy, im bellarke trash, its tiny, like for real, season 5 speculation, so if you havent watched like... dont read it?, the braven is light
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-11-05 12:28:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11013444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dylanobrienisbatman/pseuds/Dylanobrienisbatman
Summary: "He had left her behind. They had come full circle, closing the door on one another, with fire coming to claim the one left on the other side, to save their friends. This was one decision he would rather not have repeated, and yet, here they were. In space, for five years, with Clarke, dead back on the Earth they left behind. Incinerated. He would never find her body..."basically my head canon for the 6 year 7 day separation because I'm already in withdrawal.--Bellamy is living in space, and counting the days he's spent without Clarke Griffin.Go read the partner fic to this, from Clarke's perspective! "I breathe you in to fall asleep"





	Dont Save Me

It had been about 10 days on the Ring, when Bellamy found himself sat staring at the wall in front of him. He avoided windows with a view out to the scorched planet below, which was every window in this Ring, so he was in a cell in the sky box. He had left her behind. They had come full circle, closing the door on one another, with fire coming to claim the one left on the other side, to save their friends. This was one decision he would rather not have repeated, and yet, here they were. In space, for five years, with Clarke, dead back on the Earth they left behind. Incinerated. He would never find her body, never bury her, never be able to visit her. He looked at his hands, bloodied and covered in scabs, from where he had punched into the wall so hard he had dented the metal, and then punched until Harper had grabbed his hands, and wrestled him to the ground, holding him steady. She had wrapped herself around him from behind and held him tight, so tight he thought she might squeeze every breath from his lungs, not that he'd have minded. Maybe the sweet relief of unconsciousness was what he needed. She held him until he slowly pulled away, which may have been an hour or may have been a day, he didn't know. He was numb. She resisted slightly, but when he took her hand she let him stand, and then led him back to his bunk and sat on his floor next to his bed until he fell asleep. He and Harper had never been the closest, but he knew she knew how he felt. Monroe had died, so long ago that seemed, and she had loved her. They had all lost someone, but everyone else tried to talk to him. Even Raven, who was the least chatty, was still hard, as she continued to assure him they had made the right choice. Harper just sat with him, understanding somehow that he couldn't be alone, no matter how desperately he wanted to be. He came back to this box often, because his anger felt contained here, and he knew Harper would always find him.

 

Weeks passed, until they had been on The Ring for 3 months, and everyone had learned how to be around Bellamy, this new Bellamy who was so lost without his Head, his Clarke. Monty made him help with the algae farm, talking only when he was giving Bellamy instruction. Murphy sat with Bellamy on the floor and told him stories about his adventures with Emori on the ground. He wasn’t sure how many were entirely true, but Murphy got to hear himself speak and Bellamy barely had to pay attention. Raven made him help with maintenance, repairs, anything she could find, because she needed the hands and he needed the distraction. He sparred with Echo, forcing himself to stay in shape and maintain his fighting skills so when they went back to the ground he would still be able to live. They fought dirty and hard, coming to Harper with cuts and bruises and once a broken finger. They fought a little softer after that but not by much. Bellamy mourned the loss of Clarke, and Echo of her people, her king, and the only home she had ever known. She had not taken to space as well as Emori. Once a day, he would stand in front of a window, forcing himself to see what the world had become, forcing himself to remember her, and what she had done for them. Only for a moment, and then he would leave. Emori was the kindest, somehow. She sometimes held his hand when no one else was paying attention, at meals or when they would sit and talk together, Bellamy often silent. She would give him a look sometimes, and he knew, knew that John Murphy had found his other half, and that this girl knew that the pain he felt must be the most excruciating thing, so she simple offered a comfort, hands clasped together. Murphy noticed, a little puzzled the first time, a slight wave of jealousy flickering across his eyes before he found Emori's eyes and somehow, through some connection, he looked back at Bellamy and nodded, an understanding.

 

After about 5 months of time spinning around the planet below, he started to come back, if only a little. He no longer needed Harper to sit by his side when he slept in the day because he couldn't bear to be alone. He would make small talk with Monty in the algae garden, ever light and airy, never deep. He would trade stories with Murphy on occasion, carefully avoiding any that involved Clarke. He spoke of his months with Gina often, a soft space in his memory, though tarnished by her death, that could not be entirely blackened, because Gina had been kind and soft and so good to him. Better then he deserved, he knew, but more then he could have ever hoped for. Echo had held his arm a moment longer then she should have and he had lashed out, but his apology had been quick. He knew she was trying to comfort him, in a way that wasn't soft and kind because that was not her way. She wanted to let him screw his feelings away, but he couldn't bear the thought of it, at least not yet. She was kind when he apologised, understanding, not taking it as a rejection. She laughed when he stood up, hands blocking his face, the stance of a challenge of a rematch, which she willingly accepted, and then kicked his ass. He still held Emori's hand though, because he needed a reminder that softness could come from even the most mistreated people. He hoped he could be soft again someday, or soft at all (had he ever really been soft with anyone except Octavia? Maybe one person. The thought was shoved from his mind.)

 

After a year on the Ring, his heart ached no less, but his mind had accepted that this ache was a part of him now. He could no longer be The Heart, because his heart was left to burn below him. So he became what Clarke had asked of him, in that soft warm moment on his last day on the ground, and made choices with his mind. He rationed the food, regulated the amount of exercise allowed to conserve oxygen, scolded Harper (softly) when she feared she may be pregnant (she wasn't). A child on this ship was not an option, and they had to be more careful. And then one day, around the 20-month mark, he woke up with a start, from the sort of dream he hadn't had in ages. He shifted uncomfortably in his bed, and got up to walk it off in the Ring, only to run head on into Raven walking around a corner. She seemed irritated, and frustrated, and her eyes were hard and steely. His mind flashed to that night in his tent, so long ago, when he hadn't been able to help her. She seemed to flit back there too, her eyes darkening ever so slightly. Before they both really, fully grasped what was happening, he was pinning her against the wall of the Ring, thrusting up into her, a hand between them pressing her along, while she bit into her fist to keep quiet until they came apart, breathing heavily. It was rough and dirty and he had scratches down his back that drew blood. They didn't kiss, save for Raven pressing a dry kiss on his cheek as she turned to go back to her room, and she didn't mimic him to ask if it had helped, because she knew it had not, just like he had really known so long ago. He stood alone in the corridor, and looked up to see a window. He walked over to it, his hand touching the glass softly, and looked out. Clouds still covered the skies, dark and swirling, but letting enough light through to see that fire still ravaged the earth. He breathed deeply, and for the first time in all his days on the Ring, he cried. He slowly lowered himself to the ground, hand still pressed to the glass, and allowed the sobs to wrack his body. He did not fight it, and did not try to press it down with anger or violence. He simply let the tears fall, until there were none left in him to come, and yet the heaving sobs, now dry, kept coming. He fell asleep there, near the window, hand eventually sliding down to rest at the base of the window when he fell asleep curled up below it. His angry midnight meets with Raven happened often, both of them allowing themselves to fuck the pain back a little, away from the forefront. After a while they became softer, and after a few months they met with rough kisses in his bed, where she would stay, sated and sweating, sleeping there from time to time. He always slept better with her warmth near him. She knew, without asking or him saying, that this was not love, not romance, nothing more than friends who needed one another. He allowed himself to cry only when he was alone, though.

 

On the 763 day in space, Raven barrelled into his room so fast he thought someone had died, but the elation in her face righted him. She said nothing, dragging him to the room with the com system, and what he heard knocked him to the floor, literally. Because when the door to the com room opened, he heard:

"Yeah, I know, I’ve been sending you messages for 763 days, shut up Bellamy. I know it’s pathetic, but maybe eventually you'll stop ignoring me." There was a long pause, before he heard "I know you're not ignoring me. I know you probably just can't get the com system up. Or maybe you aren't even hearing me. I know if you could talk back to me, you would. I miss you, so much. It’s been over two years; can you believe that? I know you aren't dead up there, floating around. I feel like I would feel that in my chest if you were. Anyway, that’s it for today. Talk to you tomorrow Bellamy. Tell everyone hi for me," and then line went quiet.

He didn't get off the floor for almost an hour. He sat, leaning against the wall, so dumbstruck that he could barely move to get himself there in the first place. Her voice, unmistakable even through the crackle of the radio, was something he never thought he would ever hear again. And she was making jokes. She had been radioing him every day. She had been alive the entire time. She had  _lived_. 

\----

His days became brighter after that, if only a little. He listened to her radio in every single day. Clarke had found a child, called Madi, who was also a night blood and had survived the death wave, so she wasn't alone. The day she found Madi she cried into the radio and he cried too, holding the useless piece of machine to his mouth, trying in vain to speak back, to tell her how glad he was that she wasn't alone anymore. She told him of the changes to the earth, the animals and plants that were slowly coming back, and the slow return to seasons after so long of darkness and winter. After about 5 months, putting them firmly at the three year mark, Raven concluded that there was nothing they could do to get the coms up to talk back to Clarke, which resulted in a fight like he hadn't had in a while with Echo, beating each other till she broke his nose. Monty set it, and he ruined a shirt with the blood that poured from his face, but his chest ached for weeks. Harper took to sitting in his room again, letting him nap in the day for a few days, until he pulled himself back together. He and Raven continued to comfort each other, and she had moved into his room ages ago. Sometimes they fucked, slow and sweaty on their bed, pulling every second of time out of their peaks until they were nothing but shaking bodies, sometimes hard and sharp against the wall of the room, stifling the sounds with strong bites into each other’s shoulders and hands over mouths. He tells her one day that when they go back to earth he's gonna tell Clarke. He doesn't say what, but Raven knows, and she smiles at him and pulls him into a hug, and whispers "it’s about time". They lived together in his room for another year or so after his confession, never having sex but sometimes finding each other in the night for soft kisses, languid and slow, reminding the other that warmth and goodness still existed. She eventually moved back to her own room, but would find him on nights that felt particularly lonely, to remind each other again of that warmth. 

The fourth year starts and his heart lifts, if only slightly. Clarke's voice crackles over the line, reminding him that they have only 365 days left. Raven reminds him the fuel to get back won't be ready for another two, but he feels it getting close. Emori and Murphy dutifully spend their days making biofuel, from waste products from the waste system and the algae farm. Bellamy, Monty and Raven tirelessly work to transform the fuel system to a biofuel system. Harper, and Echo take uneaten algae and clothing to make padding to put into their suits, because Raven estimates a rocky re-entry. They are working towards getting home. 

The fifth year starts and his heart breaks a little each day when Clarke asks why they haven't come back yet. Harper and Monty scream at each other in the night, and Harper finds his room. They do not touch in the night but he speaks to her, reminds her that they are almost home. The tight quarters and small crowd had caused tension so many times, he reminded her. Don't let it break you now. She was gone before he woke, but smiled at him in the morning while holding Monty's hand over the table.

5 years and 6 months

Echo found him one night, and kissed him softly. She whispered gently that she knew, when they went back down, that he would find Clarke again, but that she needed him. She had always been the most alone up there in the Ring, and Bellamy knew what being alone felt like. They kissed softly, and burned through each other’s skin like the fires had burned below. It was softer then he'd expected, then he'd imagined it would have been. She whimpered quietly into the night, and her hands were kind on his skin, her mouth wet and warm, and the space between her legs tasted like the ground in a way he hadn't thought possible, especially after so long in space. She stayed the night, and for almost a month after they found softness in each other. And then one day, she stood up slowly after they had fallen into sweaty bliss together, kissed his head gently, and thanked him. He urged her to stay, just one more night, not to leave now, that she didn't have to go, but she shook her head slowly. She had needed this, him, and he had been there, and now she needed to let go, because she had gotten what she needed, and what she finally admitted she had wanted since the day he saved her in the mountain. She had gotten a chance to show him that she could be soft, and she could love him, and that he could be loved for more than what everyone else saw him as. He had never been a leader to her, he had been a friend, and a hero, and she had loved him for that, but now she had shown him, and could step back and allow him to wait for Clarke. He kissed her gently, holding her face between his palms that had softened from time unused, and thanked her. Being loved was hard for him, but coming from this girl who had always asked him for so little, and had always hurt him, it was harder to refuse, because she had no real reason to love him and she did anyway. He always found it harder to be loved by someone that he loved, like he didn't deserve the reciprocation. But Echo was a friend, after all this time, and an ally, and a strong force in his life. He loved her as friends do, and being loved by her was something he could bear. She left that night, and they never spoke of it again, but she looked at him sometimes with reverence, and he held her hand sometimes, reminding her that she was allowed to love. Sometimes everyone needs to be reminded that loving is not weakness. 

5 years and 7 months

and 8 months

and 9 months

and 10

Murphy and Emori ask Bellamy to marry them. He must have looked shocked, but Emori took his hand in her larger one, and smiled. She had never found a home on earth, with anyone, in any place, but she had found a home here, with them. Murphy talked about marriage, the way the Sky People thought of marriage, with her often. She thought the idea of a promise of love, made in front of her family, in the first home she'd ever known, was particularly appropriate. They all came together that night and celebrated the angry boy whose father died for him and the outcast girl whose people banished her finding one another in the desert, and becoming each other’s home. 

and 11

12. 

6 years since they came to space. 6 years since he'd left Clarke to die, and almost four since he heard her voice telling him she lived. 

2,192. 2,193. 2,194. 2,195. 

The fuel is almost ready, they are so close. Raven estimates about another week. They are getting restless. 

2,196. 2,197.

They start packing the pod, a little pre-emptively. Raven still thinks till take about 5 days. 

2,198. 

He can barely sleep. He tosses and turns, and finally walks the full circumference of the ring until the others wake. The radio crackles to life, and he sits by expectantly. 

"Bellamy. If you can hear me, if you're alive, it's been 2,199 days since Praimfaya. I don't know why I still do this every day, maybe it’s my way of staying sane. Not forgetting who I am. Who I was. It’s been safe for you to come down for over a year now. why haven't you? The bunkers gone silent too. we tried digging them out for a while but there was too much rubble. I haven't made contact with them either. Anyway, I still have hope. Tell Raven to aim for the one spot of green and you'll find me. The rest of the planet from what I've seen, basically sucks, s-..."

He panics for a moment. She cut out mid-sentence, what was happening. The radio crackled again, and his heart slowed until he heard her speak. 

-"Never mind, I see you!"-

His heart stopped. 

"RAVEN!" he yelled, and she came running in. She looked confused. "We need to get home. Now."

\----

On day 2,204, the ship took off from the Ring. They hurtled to the earth, burning into the atmosphere. The patch of green Clarke had mentioned grew larger and larger, they deployed the chute, and came to a clanging halt on the ground. The ship slid hundreds of feet, he was sure leaving a scorched path in its wake. Shame to destroy some of the only good left on this planet, he thought, but it slipped away when he felt the gravity of earth settle over him, and the quiet of the ground. No mechanical hum, no oxygen pumping through the walls. Everyone sat in silence, for a second, and then Echo was whooping, and scrambling from her seat to open the door. He thought back to his first interaction with Clarke, being told not to open the door because of the potential for radiation in the air. The thought seemed almost comical now. The door flung open, and they all clambered out, and into the soft grass awaiting them. Echo was the first to peel off her helmet and when her skin did not burn and her lungs filled with clean air, she peeled her whole suit off and laid in the grass, letting it touch her skin. The rest were soon to follow, and they were all lying in their skivvies in the grass before long, peeling off layer after layer, wanting to feel the ground beneath them. 

 

It takes them two days to set up a camp that is somewhat suitable, but Bellamy is almost no help at all. He keeps looking around, hoping she will appear through the tree line or out of the brush. She doesn't and he's worried. 2,206 days without her. 

Once the camp is set, he goes with Echo, Emori, and Murphy to search for food, and they literally run headfirst into her. Well, Emori does, while Bellamy and the others are arguing about whether they should try to hunt while on this trip or not. Bellamy says no, because his brain is fuzzy with the thought of her. Murphy and Echo argue that 'yes, we know, you have to find her, but we need FOOD Bellamy'. And then Emori shrieks. Murphy is up and running before any of them even know what happened, which brings a small smile to Bellamy's before he's up and chasing after them, only to find Emori hugging someone tightly and laughing with tears. He notices the blonde hair, and the familiar size, and sinks to his knees. She hugs Emori a moment longer, her back is too him now, and immediately hugs Murphy too, clinging to him. She hasn't turned around, and then she asks. And he's pretty sure his heart is ripped from his chest at the sound of her voice again, without the radio, clear as day and so close. 

"Where’s Bellamy? You have to take me too him! And Raven and Harper an-" her voice cut out when Murphy spun her around and she finally laid eyes on him. 

He wasn't sure he was going to be able to stand, but suddenly he was running, and they collided with such force that they fell to the ground. He wrapped himself around her with every inch of himself, refusing to allow her to be further from him then was necessary only because humans could not meld into one. If they could, he would be trying it, trust him. She clung just as tight, her arms around his waist, and her hands pulling at his shoulders wrenching him into her. He smelled her hair and her skin, and the smell was different but so clearly  _Clarke_  that he suddenly found himself weeping. They pulled apart enough to find each other’s faces, wanting to drink each other in. Her fingers traced freckle patterns on his face and he weaved his hands into her shorter blonde hair at the base of her neck. He held her close, and they pressed their foreheads together. Tears stained her face as much as he was sure they did his own, and he wiped one away gently before returning his hand to the base of her neck. She leaned back in and tucked her face into his shoulder, and they made their way to standing together, never letting go. 

Eventually they must, they have to go back to camp. They walk, her arm slung around his waist, his over her shoulder, his hand hanging down low enough that she can twine her fingers with it. Madi had come out of the trees and was holding his other hand. She had known who he was, almost immediately. Something he would have to ask Clarke about later. They arrived at the camp and Raven's tears were happy ones, and Clarke was pulled from Bellamy for the first time since they found each other, and his heart pulled with her. She lingered close, and they all came to her, almost knowing not to drag her too far from him. Harper is in tears, collapsing to the ground with Clarke and Monty, all three wrapped together and joyful. She even turns to kiss Echo's cheek softly and thank her for helping keep them alive, with a firm grip on her shoulder and a soft smile. And then like magnets, they are back together. They begin pack their things, leaving the ship, and Clarke leaves to get the Rover with Madi. He protests, but Raven reminds him that he is the only one who can reach into the very top of the pod to get their water storage, and she leaves again. 2,207 days. It is dark again before she returns but she is back by his side immediately, her fingers laced with his. They shove their belongings back into the rover, clambering back into the back, and Bellamy sits shotgun while Clarke drives. Their hands never leave each other, and they arrive at her cave soon enough. He thinks he may have fallen asleep in the rover, just for a minute, but when he wakes their hands are still intertwined and Clarke is bright and shining next to him. Once they get to the cave, everyone finds a space, and makes themselves at home. Bellamy finds his space right by her side, to no one's surprise. Madi has taken to Emori, fascinated by her hand and her tattoo, asking her stories about the ground, and moves her bed closer to chat long into the night. Bellamy lays staring at the top of the cave, Clarke's hand in his own, restless as ever. She must see, and pulls him to stand, while the others snore softly, and takes him out into the night. 

The climb into the rover and she drives them to a destination unknown. The arrive in a field, large and sprawling, and she takes them out into the grass and they lie on their backs, heads together and bodies spread in the opposite directions, cheeks almost touching. He lifts a hand and finds her fingers searching, because even this close is not close enough. He waits patiently, because they haven't spoken yet and he knows she will want to be the first. He is not wrong, as moments later she breathes out and begins. 

"I used to come here with Madi on clear nights, and point the ring out to her. Its there, can you see?" she whispers. He nods, and she feels the grass rustle, and continues. "I told her so many stories about all of you. I started with Emori and Echo, because she could relate to them, and then Harper and Raven because I wanted her to have strong female role models", he hears a laugh in her voice, but he understands. "I told her about Murphy the least, because as much as he'd grown last I saw him he was still Murphy and I didn't want her to think poorly of him when he returned, and she loved stories about Monty, the brilliant engineer AND farmer." She fell silent for a moment, so he breathed the question to her. 

"What did you tell her about me?" The ask was almost silent, so soft and spoken into the night, but she knew. 

"I told her stories of my best friend, who led with his heart to sometimes less then perfect ends, and sacrificed so much for his people. I told her of the boy in the stars, with constellations on his skin, who did everything he could to save his sister, no matter the cost. I told her about my partner, my co-leader, my other half. I told her stories about you the most." she paused, and the air was thick with the words she didn't say. Almost like she couldn't. So he breathed out, and finally said them, for both of them. 

"I love you, more than I think I even realised." Her breath caught in her throat, and took a moment to come tumbling out. She turn to lie on her side, and he turned to face her. The stars could wait, he had spent 6 years with them. Hers were the lights he wanted to see. 

"I told her about the boy I love, more than I think I even knew." She finished slowly. His heart was breaking, for their lost time. "I radio'd you." she said, and his heart wrenched. "You never answered."

"I heard you," it was soft, and her hand found his cheek. "I heard you on day 763, the first time. You teased me about ignoring you, and I sat on the floor for an hour in shock. I heard you every day after that too. I thought you were dead, you know." She nodded slowly, understanding. The odds of her survival had been so small, even she had known. Of course he thought she died. "Raven tried to fix it, but she couldn't. We listened every day though. You kept us going up there." 

"You kept me going down here. The promise you would come back one day." He thought of her message on day 2,199, seeing another ship. He would ask later. Anything except this could wait another day. Their noses brushed, his chin to her forehead, eyes closed. She sat up, and he followed, feeling her move and being dragged, like chains between their hearts had been locked in place. He couldn't be more then inches from her. 

"You love me." It was a statement, not a question. He was reassuring himself. His question came next. "How could you love me, love all of us, after we left you here to die?" He included the rest, because he knew if he asked only for himself she would take the blame away, disperse it. He did it for her even though it felt wrong. 

"I tried to radio before you left. The disc wouldn't align from the ground. I had to climb the tower, and move it by hand. When I was still on the ground I tried to radio. I wanted to tell you... I tried to say.." her voice was cracking, tears welling in her eyes. He lifted his hand to her cheek, and pulled her face towards him, resting their foreheads together. "I tried to say... don't save me. Not at the expense of all the rest. I'm glad you left, though I have to admit i was a little shocked you didn't appear, running at breakneck speed to come get me," her giggle was so out of place but he joined her. 

"I was doing what you asked." he said slowly. She cocked her head, as if to ask if they heard the radio that day so long ago. He shook his head, and flashed to the moments on the ring where Murphy and Emori spoke with only their eyes. He was back with his soul, he felt so whole again. "You told me to think with my head, that that was the only way we would survive up there. I just did what you asked." Her soft smile was so warm his heart started to slowly melt, the darkness around it beginning to drain away. "You love me." he said again, softer and yet stronger this time. She nodded, and said,

"You love  _me_." The idea that he might not was so absurd he almost barked a laugh, but didn't want to push any distance between them, so he huffed a little instead at the thought. She grinned brighter than the sun, and every god forsaken star in the sky, and in that minute he knew it was the right time. He leaned in just enough, and closed that last little gap between them. 

Their lips were on fire, but the burn was the most beautiful thing he'd ever felt. Her hands found his cheeks, and slid into his hair, pulling him into her. She leaned them back until they were lying on the ground, him crowding her into the grass, his hands framing her face, his hips settled into the cradle she created with her own. She slid her arms down and around to his back, pulling him into her until his whole weight was blanketing her, weighing on her like a stone, and they kissed for what felt like days, until their lips were numb and his heart was finally warm again. At that point, she detached her lips from his, and slid them down his neck, causing a shiver to run through him. They undressed slowly, taking every chance to map each others newly exposed skin. He found new scars and kissed over them, cataloging question for later, and she noticed his scared knuckles and brushed her lips against them. Stories for another day. Eventually his fingers found her heat and she breathed into him, neither of them making a sound, because this moment was for no one but them. He travels down her body, and uses his tongue to bring her to an edge, a crest, and she whimpers softly at the feeling of it rolling through her. She flips them and finds him with her own mouth, making him  _feel_ again. Not long though, because he guides her back under him slowly, and they slide together, like they were made for each other. (He thinks maybe they were.) They hold eye contact, as they roll their hips together, soft and easy, slowly building until they fell apart together, sweat slicked bodies sliding against each other, and laughter, bright and new, on her lips. She held his face and kissed him softly, so soft he thought she must think he's breakable, but maybe he was so who was he to question it. They extricated themselves, just barely, and pulled back on clothes, before climbing into the rover again, hands ever intertwined. 

Back at the cave, they find Madi and Echo cuddled together, and Harper has pulled Raven into her chest, with Monty to her back, and Ravens hand is reached out to Emori, tucked safely into Johns chest, all so close together. He hauls their beds over, place himself to Murphy's back, and pulls Clarke into his chest, where she buries her face. He is more tired then he has ever been in his life, realising that for 6 years, his sleep was wracked with worry for this girl who's hair now splayed across his arms. He tries to stay awake, to catalog every second, every frame, but his mind is drifting. His last thought before he falls asleep with Clarke wrapped up in him, is a simple one. 

2,207 days without Clarke Griffin, and now, Day 1 with her.

He liked this count much better. 

**Author's Note:**

> Listen. Bellamy Blake cannot think Clarke is dead for SIX YEARS. I will personally kick JRoth's ass. No. leave my son alone. Come follow me on tumblr at [Tumblr](http://dylanobrienisbatman.tumblr.com/) and we can cry about this hiatus together.


End file.
